Body Image

Yeah there’s a big one. It seems that these two little words reek so much havoc on a lot of our every day lives. The media tells us we should look one particular way, eat a certain amount of food, weigh only so much, get a tan and the list goes on. My question is who are they to tell us how we should look and feel? Who are they to tell us what we should be striving for?

I think as human beings we certainly put enough pressure on ourselves to look and feel a certain way. Who is to say who’s way is right and who’s is wrong. As a matter of fact I think right and wrong are subjective anyway and should not be forced onto the public at large (regarding this particular topic anyway).

I’ve noticed that body image and appearance preferences differ from person to person, region to region, culture to culture and so on. Where did I get such a ridiculous notion? Well the advantage of being friends with a diverse group of people is that I get to hear a wide variety of view points. Our differences are so fascinating that sometimes it just bowls me right over.

For instance I am a black female (Like you couldn’t tell that from my pic lol!). For the most part (I say for the most part because I don’t like blanket statements.) being skinny/thin is not looked upon favorably in our culture. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had family or friends try to stuff food down my throat because I needed some “meat on my bones.” Or to be the friend who always got looked over by all the boys because I was the dark “skinny” one. Now the funny thing is, 5’5” and 125 lbs is probably not too skinny for most cultures, oh but if you lived in the same neighborhood as me you didn’t really make the cut. The boys wanted the luscious girls. They wanted the girls with the wide hips, thick thighs and the perky behinds (I thought that rhymed just leave me alone ok.) Anyway I didn’t have any of that and after a while it really weighed on my self-esteem. I tried my damndest to gain weight. All of those little things they say not to do I did and you know what? I didn’t gain squat! Grrrrrr!

Anyway when I tell certain friends about my desire to gain weight when I was younger they look at me like I’m a deer with two heads. See, some of them come from cultures where being thin is in. What threw them even more was that when two of them went to Africa not one man went near the skinny one. The one who the men would have been tripping all over themselves to get to, had they been here in the US, didn’t even get a second glance. But the woman, who would have been told she was fat or unattractive, here, was the one who got ALL the attention, over there. Does this mean I personally think skinny is bad? Ok for my body type yes but in general no. What it does show me is that not everyone wants the same thing and that we are all beautiful to someone. The anorexic looking models that the media tries to shove in our faces should not be who or what we are modeling ourselves after. This goes for guys and girls, because if you ask me a male model with his ribs poking through his flesh is not attractive, but hey maybe there is someone out there who likes it…

Yes my ramblings do have a point, just let me get there. I think the most important thing in the world is to be a healthy human being, emotionally, mentally and physically. No matter what, the aim should be to work on being the healthiest people we can be. I had to learn this lesson the hard way and spent years being miserable with terrible self-esteem because I couldn’t accept who I was. Why? Because for so long I based my idea of beauty on what someone else thought instead of just loving me. I think this is what it all boils down to. Love yourself and be the healthiest you that you can be. Screw what everyone else is trying to shove down your throat. What do they know anyway?