13 Woes of a Mom with a Two Year Old Son
1. Bad listening skills. I KNOW he understands me, I can tell by that little sneaky look on his face that says, “I know what you’re saying, but so what I’m going to do it anyway.”
2. The two letter word that should really be a four letter word! Sometimes The Boy is bold of enough to tell me NO… of course after I give him “The Look” he runs off and does whatever it is I’ve asked, which proves the validity of number 1.
3. Kisses! To balance out the horrors above sometimes he’ll give me kisses. They are sweet and a little moist and just melt my little heart.
4. Then he has to go and wipe off said kisses. I don’t know why we just can’t stay on a high note.
5. The running. It seems like just yesterday he was taking his first wobbly steps and now we’ve just skipped to running. There appears to be no such thing as walking.
6. Splashing in the bath tub. OK this one is actually kind of fun… as long as I’m wearing a shower cap.
7. Of course number 6 and pretty much everything else he does leaves behind a huge mess. It’s safe to say that my house will never be clean again.
8. Sleep time is my favorite time of day. He really looks so calm and peaceful and sweet… and quiet.
9. At one year old he wasn’t picky, he ate whatever we gave him, now he’s developing a list of “don’t likes” and I don’t like it. If I hand him a raison he should just eat it! I can’t be alone in feeling like this?
10. I mentioned kisses but forgot hugs. These are almost better then kisses because they are so warm and sweet… and he can’t wipe them off.
11. I totally love the conversations we have. Here’s this morning’s. Him: “How [are] you doin’?” Me: “Fine, how are you doing?” Him: “Fine,” cute little giggles. “How [are] you doin’?” Really this can go on for at least thirty minutes. For some strange reason the both of us find it amusing. Oh, God I must be regressing!
12. Hitting. The Man boxes so The Boy feels he must box… with boxing gloves that come up to his elbows. He does the bounce and “foot work” (his version of it anyway) and even falls down and waits for the count before he tries to get back up. I told them to stop playing that video game around the kid. *sigh*
13. Out of everything we do the best is I love you time! I don’t pick it he seems to feel the urge and there it is. We can do that for a good thirty minutes too but I can’t say that I mind.
OK now I think I need to hug him and go get my kisses wiped off.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Realistic Heroine
Today I want to discuss the realistic heroine? What makes her realistic? What kind of traits do we want to see in a realistic heroine?
I read A LOT of books (mostly romance) and I’ve read about all types. I think it’s true that you can’t put all women in a box and say, “They all act like this,” so neither can we do this with heroines. I like to believe that I can find something to like in all of the different types of heroines, but non interest me more than the Power House Woman and the Quiet Innocent.
I actually love them both but at times I don’t agree with the way they are portrayed. I think a woman can be strong without being overbearing and a woman can also be Quiet without being week. The trait that can make or break either one of them for me is stupidity. Now just hear me out before throwing rotten veggies.
The Power House Woman can be a force to reckon with. I also think she may be the most popular. She can be a kickass woman who won’t take crap and knows who she is. That doesn’t mean she has to be overbearing and stubborn to a fault. There is one instance that realty sticks out in my mind (I’m not going to name names). I remember that the heroine was in trouble and there was NOTHING she could do to help. She was paired with a strong alpha hero who was much stronger and had the abilities to deal with the situation (without her help) and the only thing she could do was slow him down and put them all in danger. So what happens? She forces her way in anyway, insists on going KNOWING that she can’t do anything to help (these were her thoughts) but because she didn’t want to be told what to do she makes a big issues out of going. What happens next, you ask? She faces horribleness that no one can save her from and is scarred for life and puts everyone in danger and does nothing to help. Hmmm… I think to myself as I try really hard not to throw the book against the wall, I can’t see how this was necessary. To me it just made her look stupid not powerful.
You’d be surprised at how many times I’ve read similar scenarios and every time I think, “What a moron.”
Now I have read stories where these women are done very well. They are secure in who they are and refuse to be left behind, not because they are being babies about being told what to do, but because they actually have something to contribute. They can actually do something productive to make the situation better. These are the types of heroines I want to read about.
Then we have the Quiet Innocent. She’s not very assertive, unless TOTALLY necessary and she is unsure of herself. This woman at times is looked down upon, but why? She’s realistic in a lot of ways. Not every woman is the power house type and most of us have our own hang-ups and personal issues we’re dealing with. She may not be able to kick everyone’s ass or tell everyone off but she has a quiet strength that she can summon up whenever she NEEDS it. She may not be a force to reckon with but if she is pushed to the limits she can do what needs to be done. So, what if she depends on the hero, at times don’t we all WANT a hero to depend on? Isn’t it nice to pass the reigns over to someone else for a while? Though women are strong we certainly don’t have to do everything on our own. The only time this heroine pushes my buttons is when she just can’t think for herself EVER. She’s so much of a mouse that she can’t even stand up for herself and she is completely clueless of the ways of the world. I don’t care how innocent a person seems to be, there are just something’s that every adult should know.
What I’ve noticed is that it’s the traits of the heroines that stand out to me. Some can be level headed and sure, some can be rigid and uptight, some can be demanding, some can be unsure. There are a variety of traits that can be used to make up a heroine, but I’ve noticed that some of them are frowned upon even if they do represent a percentage of women who truly exist.
I actually relate better to the hero when I write versus the heroine so I struggle with making likable heroines. The one that comes to mind now is the initial version of the woman created for my alter ego’s short Locked in Love. In the initial premise the story begins with an argument where the heroine thinks (with good reason) that the hero has cheated on her. She has had issues with past relationships and constantly takes them out on him. He deals with it because he loves her but at this time she is being truly unreasonable. She can not see or hear past her own pain to realize that he is telling her the truth about not being with other woman.
The heroine was hated so much that the premise had to be changed because there was no way the story could stay the same and remain true to the character. The thing that got me was the commentary received on the story. She wasn’t likeable, but she was not intended to be at the beginning and was supposed to redeem herself at the end (which apparently failed). A few people thought she was a bitch, and that she should down and look at things rationally and be more level headed.
Wow, just wow!
In real life if a woman (or man for that matter) was presented with this exact situation how many of them would be nice, instead of a bitch or an asshole? How many would be rational, calm and level headed? None that I know of, including me. If you thought you’d found concrete evidence that your significant other was cheating on you, someone that you loved and devoted time energy and effort to, would you be calm? Why should she have been?
To take it further I asked the men that I know if they’d ever been treated the way the heroine treated the hero. I didn’t get one no. Obviously that means that the behavior was realistic and plausible. So this lead me to the conclusion that, though we say we want realistic heroines that may not be completely accurate. Sure the idea sounds nice, but when confronted with something that may be a little too real, I get push back every time. I think we want someone we can aspire to be like, someone we can look up to but a flawed woman completed with issues and insecurities might be a little too much to handle? Tell me what you think. I’d love to know!
Stop by and see my alter ego for a discussion on the realistic hero.
I read A LOT of books (mostly romance) and I’ve read about all types. I think it’s true that you can’t put all women in a box and say, “They all act like this,” so neither can we do this with heroines. I like to believe that I can find something to like in all of the different types of heroines, but non interest me more than the Power House Woman and the Quiet Innocent.
I actually love them both but at times I don’t agree with the way they are portrayed. I think a woman can be strong without being overbearing and a woman can also be Quiet without being week. The trait that can make or break either one of them for me is stupidity. Now just hear me out before throwing rotten veggies.
The Power House Woman can be a force to reckon with. I also think she may be the most popular. She can be a kickass woman who won’t take crap and knows who she is. That doesn’t mean she has to be overbearing and stubborn to a fault. There is one instance that realty sticks out in my mind (I’m not going to name names). I remember that the heroine was in trouble and there was NOTHING she could do to help. She was paired with a strong alpha hero who was much stronger and had the abilities to deal with the situation (without her help) and the only thing she could do was slow him down and put them all in danger. So what happens? She forces her way in anyway, insists on going KNOWING that she can’t do anything to help (these were her thoughts) but because she didn’t want to be told what to do she makes a big issues out of going. What happens next, you ask? She faces horribleness that no one can save her from and is scarred for life and puts everyone in danger and does nothing to help. Hmmm… I think to myself as I try really hard not to throw the book against the wall, I can’t see how this was necessary. To me it just made her look stupid not powerful.
You’d be surprised at how many times I’ve read similar scenarios and every time I think, “What a moron.”
Now I have read stories where these women are done very well. They are secure in who they are and refuse to be left behind, not because they are being babies about being told what to do, but because they actually have something to contribute. They can actually do something productive to make the situation better. These are the types of heroines I want to read about.
Then we have the Quiet Innocent. She’s not very assertive, unless TOTALLY necessary and she is unsure of herself. This woman at times is looked down upon, but why? She’s realistic in a lot of ways. Not every woman is the power house type and most of us have our own hang-ups and personal issues we’re dealing with. She may not be able to kick everyone’s ass or tell everyone off but she has a quiet strength that she can summon up whenever she NEEDS it. She may not be a force to reckon with but if she is pushed to the limits she can do what needs to be done. So, what if she depends on the hero, at times don’t we all WANT a hero to depend on? Isn’t it nice to pass the reigns over to someone else for a while? Though women are strong we certainly don’t have to do everything on our own. The only time this heroine pushes my buttons is when she just can’t think for herself EVER. She’s so much of a mouse that she can’t even stand up for herself and she is completely clueless of the ways of the world. I don’t care how innocent a person seems to be, there are just something’s that every adult should know.
What I’ve noticed is that it’s the traits of the heroines that stand out to me. Some can be level headed and sure, some can be rigid and uptight, some can be demanding, some can be unsure. There are a variety of traits that can be used to make up a heroine, but I’ve noticed that some of them are frowned upon even if they do represent a percentage of women who truly exist.
I actually relate better to the hero when I write versus the heroine so I struggle with making likable heroines. The one that comes to mind now is the initial version of the woman created for my alter ego’s short Locked in Love. In the initial premise the story begins with an argument where the heroine thinks (with good reason) that the hero has cheated on her. She has had issues with past relationships and constantly takes them out on him. He deals with it because he loves her but at this time she is being truly unreasonable. She can not see or hear past her own pain to realize that he is telling her the truth about not being with other woman.
The heroine was hated so much that the premise had to be changed because there was no way the story could stay the same and remain true to the character. The thing that got me was the commentary received on the story. She wasn’t likeable, but she was not intended to be at the beginning and was supposed to redeem herself at the end (which apparently failed). A few people thought she was a bitch, and that she should down and look at things rationally and be more level headed.
Wow, just wow!
In real life if a woman (or man for that matter) was presented with this exact situation how many of them would be nice, instead of a bitch or an asshole? How many would be rational, calm and level headed? None that I know of, including me. If you thought you’d found concrete evidence that your significant other was cheating on you, someone that you loved and devoted time energy and effort to, would you be calm? Why should she have been?
To take it further I asked the men that I know if they’d ever been treated the way the heroine treated the hero. I didn’t get one no. Obviously that means that the behavior was realistic and plausible. So this lead me to the conclusion that, though we say we want realistic heroines that may not be completely accurate. Sure the idea sounds nice, but when confronted with something that may be a little too real, I get push back every time. I think we want someone we can aspire to be like, someone we can look up to but a flawed woman completed with issues and insecurities might be a little too much to handle? Tell me what you think. I’d love to know!
Stop by and see my alter ego for a discussion on the realistic hero.
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