Body Image

Yeah there’s a big one. It seems that these two little words reek so much havoc on a lot of our every day lives. The media tells us we should look one particular way, eat a certain amount of food, weigh only so much, get a tan and the list goes on. My question is who are they to tell us how we should look and feel? Who are they to tell us what we should be striving for?

I think as human beings we certainly put enough pressure on ourselves to look and feel a certain way. Who is to say who’s way is right and who’s is wrong. As a matter of fact I think right and wrong are subjective anyway and should not be forced onto the public at large (regarding this particular topic anyway).

I’ve noticed that body image and appearance preferences differ from person to person, region to region, culture to culture and so on. Where did I get such a ridiculous notion? Well the advantage of being friends with a diverse group of people is that I get to hear a wide variety of view points. Our differences are so fascinating that sometimes it just bowls me right over.

For instance I am a black female (Like you couldn’t tell that from my pic lol!). For the most part (I say for the most part because I don’t like blanket statements.) being skinny/thin is not looked upon favorably in our culture. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had family or friends try to stuff food down my throat because I needed some “meat on my bones.” Or to be the friend who always got looked over by all the boys because I was the dark “skinny” one. Now the funny thing is, 5’5” and 125 lbs is probably not too skinny for most cultures, oh but if you lived in the same neighborhood as me you didn’t really make the cut. The boys wanted the luscious girls. They wanted the girls with the wide hips, thick thighs and the perky behinds (I thought that rhymed just leave me alone ok.) Anyway I didn’t have any of that and after a while it really weighed on my self-esteem. I tried my damndest to gain weight. All of those little things they say not to do I did and you know what? I didn’t gain squat! Grrrrrr!

Anyway when I tell certain friends about my desire to gain weight when I was younger they look at me like I’m a deer with two heads. See, some of them come from cultures where being thin is in. What threw them even more was that when two of them went to Africa not one man went near the skinny one. The one who the men would have been tripping all over themselves to get to, had they been here in the US, didn’t even get a second glance. But the woman, who would have been told she was fat or unattractive, here, was the one who got ALL the attention, over there. Does this mean I personally think skinny is bad? Ok for my body type yes but in general no. What it does show me is that not everyone wants the same thing and that we are all beautiful to someone. The anorexic looking models that the media tries to shove in our faces should not be who or what we are modeling ourselves after. This goes for guys and girls, because if you ask me a male model with his ribs poking through his flesh is not attractive, but hey maybe there is someone out there who likes it…

Yes my ramblings do have a point, just let me get there. I think the most important thing in the world is to be a healthy human being, emotionally, mentally and physically. No matter what, the aim should be to work on being the healthiest people we can be. I had to learn this lesson the hard way and spent years being miserable with terrible self-esteem because I couldn’t accept who I was. Why? Because for so long I based my idea of beauty on what someone else thought instead of just loving me. I think this is what it all boils down to. Love yourself and be the healthiest you that you can be. Screw what everyone else is trying to shove down your throat. What do they know anyway?

Thursday Thirteen

One of my favorite things in the world is traveling. I love to see new places and meet the people and learn about different cultures. When I’m older I plan on traveling the world but for the most part my travels have taken to me various places in the US. I’d like to share them with you now.

13 Places I’ve been

1. Disney Land (not to be confused with Disney World).
This one is sunny Ca. We were at a family reunion and I was very young… maybe four or five. My most unforgettable memories from this trip are from when I leapt into the hotel pool thinking I could swim and almost drowned in 3 ½ feet of water. The other is when we went on this ride that was totally in the dark. It scared me so badly I squished the hell out of Mickey Mouse cap, which I’d thrown on the floor of the ride so I wouldn’t lose it while going loopty loop. Yeah… good times/

2. Vallejo, Ca.
It was a sad event that brought me to this fair little city in Southern Cali. The Man’s grandfather had passed away and I was there for moral support. This was also the very first time I got to meet his family after having been together for six years. Though it was small I thought it was a beautiful place. This was the also the first time I’ve been so close to real mountains. I mean wow those things are huge!

3. San Francisco.
This occasion was much happier than the Vallejo trip. One of The Man’s Friends was getting married and of course I leapt at the chance to go to The Man’s home town. He’d already been to mine plenty. The thing I’ve noticed we have in common is that we both have mostly male friends so sadly I couldn’t hook anyone up. I think they decided to forgive me for that one. The city was sooooooooooo beautiful; I’ve been dying to go back since.

4. Washington D.C.
Going back to my younger years I actually used to visit our fair D. C. all the time. It’s where my great grandparents lived for a very long time. My great grandfather was very influential in politics. He knew people like Martine Luther King Jr., Malcolm X and John F. Kennedy. I went there all the time to visit them and I loved the city but my most vibrant memories of this place are the huge house they lived in… and the pattern in which my great grandmother used to snore in. I was young, what can I say?

5. Dumas, AR
This is actually where my grandmother (on my dad’s side) is from. She hated it so much she left as soon as she was old enough (maybe in her twenties) and never moved back. We went there later on for another of those notorious family reunions and I gotta say… it was really dusty. And there was also a huge bug that lived on the ceiling of our hotel room for the entirety of the trip. On a positive note this is where I ate at my first Sonic… we don’t have those in Chicago.

6. Milwaukee, WI
Being that it’s not that far from Chicago my parents and I used to go here often. It’s also right off the lake (meaning Lake Michigan) and they have an awesome zoo, where I rode my first elephant and camel. They also have a variety of fests during the summer where you can buy great food and listen to great music.

7. St. Louis, MO
I’ve actually been here a number of times since I have family there. I love to walk the city, especially downtown. I really love the area near the arch. It’s very grassy and pretty and the arch is just amazing to see up-close… though going in the arch I could have done without. It was nice to have the experience but the elevators were like shifty, shaky little ovens and I thought I might hurl before I got off…

8. Atlanta, GA
I’ve also been here many times. My mother and cousin both went to college there and loved the city. There are so many places to see since it is place full of history. I visited a number of historical colleges and the Coca Cola Museum which was awesome! I also got to do lots of shopping. The food’s great too.

9. Ontario Canada
I was about eleven when we went to Canada. It was during the summer so it wasn’t cold but it wasn’t too hot either. I thought it was one of the most beautiful cities. There were cobblestone streets and different shops and eateries. The architecture was fantastic; I think we even visited a castle. It’s a place I’d love to visit again only I’d like to maybe learn some French first.

10. Nassau in The Bahamas
Still the most beautiful place I have ever been to in all my life! The water was so clear I could see straight through it. The sand was beautiful and the temperatures were lovely. The food was excellent. I mean they probably caught it and served it to us that same day and the people were so friendly. It was the first time I’d ever seen a palm tree in my life. When a thirteen year old me said, “Oh my God mom look, palm trees.” on a bus full of people I new I was out of place. I never wanted to leave and I am so going back when I get the chance.

11. Universal Studios (Yes now this is in FL)
I had gone to St. Pete, FL with a friend for spring break and she and her mom took me to this wonderful place. I took a picture with The Grinch who I later found out was doing bunny ears. I also took a picture with Thing 2 from The Cat and the Hat (who we had to catch before we could take the picture). Also we took pictures with various XMEN and lastly Betty Boop… who was taller than I remember. Hmmmm

12. Miami, FL
It rained damn near half the time so I was pissed because I didn’t get my much coveted tan. Hey, I had planed on being dark chocolate when I left there not the same caramel that I was when I arrived. Anyway we went to a bunch of different clubs, made friends at a few bars, wore naughty little outfits (some of the time) and enjoyed the beach (when it wasn’t freakin’ raining).

13. Manhattan, NY
I went with my mom which could have been a mistake. We went by Central Park, past a couple of vendors and into the world of shopping. We walked so far we had to take a cab back. We also ate some delicious Brazilian food and went to see a show on Broadway. It was an awesome time. We spent all our money and came back with a t-shirt and a tie for my brother and father…

Dealing with Fatigue

First what is fatigue?

Fatigue - To weary with labor or any bodily or mental exertion; to harass with toil; to exhaust the strength or endurance of; to tire.

(Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913))

Fatigue is something I believe most people feel or deal with on some level regularly. I know I do. There are many causes of fatigue including; lack of sleep, health conditions and even certain medications. There are a multitude of symptoms that can help us to identify whether we are suffering from the effects of fatigue; the most obvious being Weakness, lack of energy, tiredness, exhaustion. If any of these symptoms sound familiar to you then you may be suffering from fatigue but don’t worry. There are ways to cope with fatigue which can involve medications, vitamins and dietary changes. Even though there are ways of coping, the best method is prevention. Things like relaxation techniques, dietary changes, taking “me” time and exercise go along way in helping to avoid fatigue.

Letting In The Light by Fae Sutherland

On sale now at Amber Quill Press!



When Rowan Lee arrived in small, liberal Provincetown, he heard tales of the eccentric, brilliant, possibly insane Finnegan Clark. A world-famous mystery writer, Finnegan’s been to the top of the bestseller list more times than anyone can count. It’s about the only place he goes, sequestered away in his mansion by the sea.



Enter Rowan. The free-spirited lovechild of aging hippies, Rowan believes all anyone needs is love, and when he makes a delivery to Finn’s mansion and meets the man himself, it’s infatuation at first sight. Not to mention lust. Never mind that Finn’s twice his age and snarls at him more than he speaks to him.



All Rowan wants is to make the world a better place, one person at a time, but all Finn wants is to be left alone. Sparks fly, and if Rowan can’t break Finn’s walls down, he’ll burn them down...one sizzling encounter at a time...



Letting In The Light by Fae Sutherland Click HERE to read an excerpt and buy your copy!

Thursday Thirteen

Since I was a little girl I've been obsessed with Astrology. My parents even bought me a telescope which my little brother ruined... I've forgiven him for this (mostly). Anyway from time to time I still like to do some studying up on what's out there. I found some very fascinating information here and here. So here we go.

13 interesting facts about Mars

1. Mars has the biggest mountain in the solar system. It’s called Olympus Mons and is over twice the height of Mt. Everest.

2. The Egyptians gave Mars its first recorded name: Har dècher (“The Red One”).

3. In the 1970’s, the Viking orbiter took pictures of what appear to be giant faces and pyramids carved into the planet’s surface in the Cydonia region. Scientists disagree on whether or not they are just eroded mesas or evidence of an ancient alien civilization but still the idea is cool.

4. For a planet with so little atmosphere, Mars has some of the wildest weather in the solar system. There is a variety of windstorms, dust storms and small tornadoes and there are more of them when Mars is close to the sun.

5. There are huge deposits of ice underneath the planet’s surface.

6. Only 1/3 of all the missions to Mars have been successful. Mars is actually referred to as the “Bermuda Triangle” of the solar system. I would NOT plan a vacation there if I were you.

7. Mars doesn’t have an ozone layer; as a result, the surface of Mars is bathed in a lethal dose of radiation every time the sun rises. Really, a lethal dose? Yikes!

8. Although it is much colder on Mars than on Earth, the similar tilt of Earth’s and Mars’ axes means they have similar seasons.

9. Mars’ seasons are twice as long as those on Earth because it takes Mars 687 days to orbit the sun, twice as long as Earth’s 365 day journey. Eek! This would be great for the summer months but not so great in the winter.

10. During a Mars winter, almost 20% of the air freezes. Refer to pervious comment about winter.

11. The average temperature on Mars is minus 81 Fahrenheit and can range from minus 205 degrees in the winter to 72 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer. No good, I would have to move!

12. Until recently, it was thought that Mars’ polar caps were made from carbon dioxide (dry ice) with only a small amount of water. Later observations indicated that the polar caps were mostly frozen water with a thin layer of carbon dioxide. Why is everything here frozen? This is not a selling point!

13. If melted into liquid form, the amount of water in the southern polar cap would cover the entire planet to a depth of about 36 feet. Holy cow, let’s hope they don’t experience global warning!


That's all for now. Until next time.

Dark Host by Kim Knox

Dark Host was a finalist in the Brava Novella Competition and it’s also the first time I played with shifters. Oh and some zombies…of a sort *grin*

Blurb

Feline Mosaic, Charis Sur, thought her mission aboard the INS Pagidion would be quick and easy. All she has to do is watch her target and keep him alive until Betelgeuse goes nova.

Simple. Until one of the passengers drops dead in front of her.

Suddenly everything is not simple. Her life depends on a successful mission and she has to protect her target from whatever killed this man. That throws her into the path of Jason Narak, the one man she never wanted to see again. The man who burned her six months before. Yet, even as her past with Jason hurls her mission, her life into disarray, Charis finds that…something…is waiting for them aboard the INS Pagidion.

It calls itself darkness. And it needs a host.

The buy link is here and you can read the first chapter here

Stress

I think this topic is one we can all relate to on some level. We have to meet demands placed on us by employers, loved ones and even ourselves. I’ve been reading a lot on this particular topic as it affects so many aspects of our lives that we sometimes aren’t even aware of.


We spend most of our day ripping and running trying to do things for everyone else (usually) and then we have five minutes (it sometimes seems) to relax before we have to start the whole process over again.


Hell, I’m out of breath just thinking about it! It got to a point when I didn’t even realize when I was stressed or starting to stress. It wouldn’t be until after my heart was racing, my head was screaming and my mind could no longer form coherent thoughts that I realized I was freaking out about something.


When I realized this behavior was really damaging to me and my relationships I decided something needed to be done. I learned to meditate and open my mouth and talk about things that were bothering me instead of letting them fester. I read books and looked at web sites and talked to actual people to find out how others dealt with stress.


During my search for information I came across this article. Here they discuss what stress is, how it affects the body and what you can do to identify when you are stressed and how to cope with it. I hope you gain something from it as I did. Let me know what you think.