Can I Get to the End Already?

I mean really, is it asking too much to just be done with this book? I mean I really do love the story, don’t get me wrong, and that’s part of the reason I want to be done with it so badly. It has nothing to do with that fact that I’ve worked on it for so long that I am now seeing double. No, no it’s for the love of the story. And if it wasn’t taking me so long to polish this baby up I’d have already submitted it. It has nothing to do with my procrastination issues… and addiction to angry birds. That can’t be it! I refuse to accept it. Soon, hopefully very soon, I’m going to finish this story and move on to something else, just as soon as I finish this game of angry birds get my brain in gear. *starts up another level*

MIA (Again)

So I’ve been missing… again. I know, bad Lauren. *slaps hand* But it I’ve been doing a lot while I’ve been away. I went to a woman’s conference with my mom and it was fabulous. It definitely helped me to bond with other women; believe it or not I’m not always so good at that. *gasp* Right, I know. Anyway, I took a lot of time to look deep within myself and acknowledge things about my life I love or want to change. Then when I got back to the day job I had 40 bagillion things to catch up on. *still trying to catch my breath* And finally life is coming to some semblance of calm so I’m back. Yay!


I’ve been working on my writing and getting a lot of editing done. I feel really good about the path my writing is taking. I can see my growth with every story I finish and I love to see how my writing is transforming for the better (at least to me anyway). Now, that life has settled back down it’s time to get back to business. Wish me luck!

Procrastination, my constant companion. *Heavy Sigh*

Sooooooooooooooooooo… I should be working on one of a zillion WIPs. What have I done over the past month? Not a thing! I mean I’ve thought and taken notes and hummed and hawed but nothing has been done to actually increase my word count. Sad, yes I know. Nevertheless I am determined to finish something. I have too many things collecting virtual dust on my hard drive to be at a standstill. Now, I am going to kick all of the excuses I’ve been feeding myself to the curb and find a way to get to work. First I need to decide on which story I want to finish…

Well...

Not so much progress on the writing front but plenty on the procrastination. *sigh* I do have some ideas for a few things I'm working on. Perhaps instead of starting new stories I should just finish the ones I'm already working on. If only my characters would just do what I want. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Here I am!

I’ve been gone for a while (please forgive me) but things are changing. I am back on track with my writing and ready to do big things. Woot! Anyway, I’ve been working on a new story (yes I will keep you in suspense for a while longer because, well I’m allergic to plotting and really don’t know what’s happening next, but soon I will and then so will you). The important thing is that I am writing again. (sadly I was forced to stop for a while). So in between, keeping up with the kids, and the husband, and the day job and the workout schedule (wew I need a breather just thinking about it all) I will be writing… and keeping in touch. I promise!

Accepting the Story

I’ve noticed that some people may have issues relating to or accepting books that are in opposition with their personal beliefs. For example if you believe that anything having to do with demons has to be “bad,” can you read a story with a “good” demon? If you don’t believe in having sex before you fall in love would it ruin the story if the couple sleeps together on their first date? If you don’t believe in ghosts can you get into a ghost story? If you don’t believe in aliens can you buy into a story involving extraterrestrials?

I’ve noticed my own reading preferences vary wildly. Whether the story is in line with my personal beliefs or not doesn’t affect how I feel about the plot or characters. If the author creates believable characters and an engaging story I can buy into it as long as the story is true to the motivations of the characters and the situation. That’s not to say I’ll like every word of what’s written, but I can accept the world as the author has presented it to me in that particular piece of fiction.

How about you?

Note to Characters

Stop it! Stop it right now! I’m the author and I say what goes. Stop changing the way this story is supposed to go. And really stop bogging my story down when you don’t like where it’s headed. It’s my story… mine, mine, mine even if it is about you.

Thanks and have a nice day.

Don’t Judge Me! (Warning Rant Ahead)

I will be the first to admit that I have some rather unorthodox views about life, love and spirituality. I believe that we should all be free to learn and discover and find beliefs that fit each of us individually. Sadly, there are far too many who don’t share this belief. During my lifetime I’ve been looked down upon, judged harshly, called all types of sinners and told I was going to not so nice places. I’ve been told I was wrong to live my life the way I do and for people to make these types of judgment calls about me without even knowing me makes me sooooooooooo angry! Picture a large fire breathing dragon with a thorn at the bottom of its foot. Yeah, not pretty.

Anyway I personally feel that we shouldn’t be JUDGING each other anyway. We should be working to accept each other as we are. Our differences make us unique and beautiful. Diversity should be used to learn about our wonderful differences not used to tear one another down. None of us are perfect. Deal with it!

/rant

Love of Writing/Reading

I’ve recently noticed that I love to write for a lot of the same reasons I love to read. I want the fantasy, with just a little realism tucked in. I like to get away, go somewhere far and wonderful without having to leave the warm comfort of my home. Learning about the worlds that others have created or even better yet, being the one to create the worlds takes me to another level, another place.

Reading and writing both allow me to escape from the pressures of every day life. I like romance because I know the escape is going to be a good feeling one (I love happy endings!) This is what I’m looking for when I’m reading or writing, something to make me feel good, even warm and fuzzy. Sure not all romance or fiction is warm and fuzzy but for me it’s a big fat bonus when it is. I can deal with the harsh realities of life when I come crashing back down to earth but in my fantasies I want to be swept away on a cloud of feel good.

What do you like about reading or writing?

Happiness is a Choice

I don’t get to watch TV often, but it’s always fun when I get something more out of it then a loss of precious brain cells (reality TV anyone). Whenever I can, I like to watch the show “Monk”. There’s this character that gets goofed on A LOT, but in the show it never seems to faze him. No matter what, he is always happy.

The last time I watched, Monk asked him how he always managed to stay so upbeat. He replied that happiness is a choice, one that he decided to make. The statement really made me stop and think. Maybe he was right. Sometimes life really hits you HARD and you feel like you’ll never recover but we can and we do! But how would we feel if we worked on being happy as much as we worked at our jobs or our relationships?

We work hard to make other people happy all the time. Why not put some of that energy into making ourselves happy? Some may think it sounds selfish but what is life if you NEVER think about yourself? I’m not saying don’t ever think of anyone else, but to make sure we take some time to take care of ourselves. We can’t depend on someone else to make us happy. Why not choose to be happy today? Why not choose to give ourselves a little time and do some things that bring some happiness into our own lives?

I’m Back

Did you miss me? Well, here’s a nice little update on my life. This past year, I moved to a new place, took on more responsibility at work (hopefully with some more pay to come shortly), got married to my sweetie on our eight year anniversary, participated in a mentor program with the most awesome mentor ever AND three months ago I had a baby. Yes I’ve been doing a lot which is why I’ve been MIA (please still love me).

The new place… well it could use some sprucing up but it’ll do. The work… well it’s work. The marriage is awesome. Our relationship is the same wonderful relationship we’ve always shared and now we have a nice license and pretty rings… which are lovely. The mentor program couldn’t have been any better. I had (have) the best mentor ever. (Hi Cup!) I’ve learned so many awesome things about writing and how to improve my writing. The great thing is it’s already paying off. One of my CP’s said my latest WIP is the best thing I’ve written and she could barely pay attention to the edits because she got so sucked into the story (SCORE!). Ahem… moving on. The baby is wonderful. He (yes I now have two boys) is wonderful and cute and sweet and cute and precious and did I mention cute? Being a mom so agrees with me. *happy sigh*

So that’s what’s been up with me. I am back and more determined than ever to turn out these WIPs. Stay tuned!

Body Image

Yeah there’s a big one. It seems that these two little words reek so much havoc on a lot of our every day lives. The media tells us we should look one particular way, eat a certain amount of food, weigh only so much, get a tan and the list goes on. My question is who are they to tell us how we should look and feel? Who are they to tell us what we should be striving for?

I think as human beings we certainly put enough pressure on ourselves to look and feel a certain way. Who is to say who’s way is right and who’s is wrong. As a matter of fact I think right and wrong are subjective anyway and should not be forced onto the public at large (regarding this particular topic anyway).

I’ve noticed that body image and appearance preferences differ from person to person, region to region, culture to culture and so on. Where did I get such a ridiculous notion? Well the advantage of being friends with a diverse group of people is that I get to hear a wide variety of view points. Our differences are so fascinating that sometimes it just bowls me right over.

For instance I am a black female (Like you couldn’t tell that from my pic lol!). For the most part (I say for the most part because I don’t like blanket statements.) being skinny/thin is not looked upon favorably in our culture. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had family or friends try to stuff food down my throat because I needed some “meat on my bones.” Or to be the friend who always got looked over by all the boys because I was the dark “skinny” one. Now the funny thing is, 5’5” and 125 lbs is probably not too skinny for most cultures, oh but if you lived in the same neighborhood as me you didn’t really make the cut. The boys wanted the luscious girls. They wanted the girls with the wide hips, thick thighs and the perky behinds (I thought that rhymed just leave me alone ok.) Anyway I didn’t have any of that and after a while it really weighed on my self-esteem. I tried my damndest to gain weight. All of those little things they say not to do I did and you know what? I didn’t gain squat! Grrrrrr!

Anyway when I tell certain friends about my desire to gain weight when I was younger they look at me like I’m a deer with two heads. See, some of them come from cultures where being thin is in. What threw them even more was that when two of them went to Africa not one man went near the skinny one. The one who the men would have been tripping all over themselves to get to, had they been here in the US, didn’t even get a second glance. But the woman, who would have been told she was fat or unattractive, here, was the one who got ALL the attention, over there. Does this mean I personally think skinny is bad? Ok for my body type yes but in general no. What it does show me is that not everyone wants the same thing and that we are all beautiful to someone. The anorexic looking models that the media tries to shove in our faces should not be who or what we are modeling ourselves after. This goes for guys and girls, because if you ask me a male model with his ribs poking through his flesh is not attractive, but hey maybe there is someone out there who likes it…

Yes my ramblings do have a point, just let me get there. I think the most important thing in the world is to be a healthy human being, emotionally, mentally and physically. No matter what, the aim should be to work on being the healthiest people we can be. I had to learn this lesson the hard way and spent years being miserable with terrible self-esteem because I couldn’t accept who I was. Why? Because for so long I based my idea of beauty on what someone else thought instead of just loving me. I think this is what it all boils down to. Love yourself and be the healthiest you that you can be. Screw what everyone else is trying to shove down your throat. What do they know anyway?

Dealing with Fatigue

First what is fatigue?

Fatigue - To weary with labor or any bodily or mental exertion; to harass with toil; to exhaust the strength or endurance of; to tire.

(Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913))

Fatigue is something I believe most people feel or deal with on some level regularly. I know I do. There are many causes of fatigue including; lack of sleep, health conditions and even certain medications. There are a multitude of symptoms that can help us to identify whether we are suffering from the effects of fatigue; the most obvious being Weakness, lack of energy, tiredness, exhaustion. If any of these symptoms sound familiar to you then you may be suffering from fatigue but don’t worry. There are ways to cope with fatigue which can involve medications, vitamins and dietary changes. Even though there are ways of coping, the best method is prevention. Things like relaxation techniques, dietary changes, taking “me” time and exercise go along way in helping to avoid fatigue.

Stress

I think this topic is one we can all relate to on some level. We have to meet demands placed on us by employers, loved ones and even ourselves. I’ve been reading a lot on this particular topic as it affects so many aspects of our lives that we sometimes aren’t even aware of.


We spend most of our day ripping and running trying to do things for everyone else (usually) and then we have five minutes (it sometimes seems) to relax before we have to start the whole process over again.


Hell, I’m out of breath just thinking about it! It got to a point when I didn’t even realize when I was stressed or starting to stress. It wouldn’t be until after my heart was racing, my head was screaming and my mind could no longer form coherent thoughts that I realized I was freaking out about something.


When I realized this behavior was really damaging to me and my relationships I decided something needed to be done. I learned to meditate and open my mouth and talk about things that were bothering me instead of letting them fester. I read books and looked at web sites and talked to actual people to find out how others dealt with stress.


During my search for information I came across this article. Here they discuss what stress is, how it affects the body and what you can do to identify when you are stressed and how to cope with it. I hope you gain something from it as I did. Let me know what you think.

Thursday Thirteen

13 Things I Love and Miss about My Home Town
Some of you may not know this but I’m originally from Chicago, IL. It was like culture shock when I came to the south but eventually I learned to love it. There are still some things I miss and will always love about Chicago.


1. Hot Dogs. The Chicago style hot dog was one of the best inventions on the planet. It really is a meal on a bun topped with pickles, onions, tomatoes, Ketchup and mustard. Some people like to add or subtract but I like it just the way it is!
2. The Gyros Sandwich. I know they have this wonderful Greek treat in other places but in Chicago… wow. They are so big you have to eat it sideways and I have yet to finish one. The lamb meat is wonderful and succulent and they are best served with onions, tomatoes and lots of cucumber sauce. Yummy!
3. Pizza! Chicago is the only place I will eat a deep dish pizza. My favorite place is Gino’s East. OMG they make the pizza on a yellowish cornbread crust and the pizza is so saucy and flavorful. The pieces are so big I can only eat about two. *drool*
4. The Museum of Science and Industry is my favorite museum. They have exhibits that will interest people from 2 years old to 80. There are all kinds of buttons and walk through exhibits and information. It’s just wonderful.
5. Next is the Field Museum. The exhibits there are wonderful as well. You can learn about dinosaurs and see their bones reconstructed, soaring toward the ceiling or catch an adventure into an Egyptian tomb. Really how could you not love it?
6. The Shed Aquarium is to die for. There are all sorts of sea animals and snakes and lizards. They also have shows. It’s well worth the time and money and you’ll have to go more than once to see all there is to see and get the full experience.
7. Brookfield Zoo is excellent. I’m 26 and I still beg my mommy to take me when I go home during the warm months. They have so many activities and events depending on the time of year and it’s just lovely to walk through.
8. Barbeque. I know the south is supposed to be known for barbeque but they don’t do it the way we do. We do it in a pit. (ooh that sounded naughty) You can literally smell the food a block before you get to the place and you can order ribs, chicken, hot links and pretty much anything else. My favorite joint is Lem’s Barbeque House. The food is so good and the sauce is one of a kind.
9. The Taste of Chicago. I haven’t been in years but I want to go back so badly. You can get a taste of what everyone has to offer and meet a lot of people along the way. If you go on July third you’ll be treated to the best fireworks show I’ve ever seen. It’s good enough to stop traffic on Lake Shore Drive.
10. Harold’s Chicken. By far the best chicken joint I’ve ever been to. The chicken is tender and juicy and the sauce is to die for. You don’t go to Harold’s and not get sauce. I usually get a mix of hot and mild. *more drooling*
11. The Lake (That would be Lake Michigan). During the summer the lake is where it’s at. There are concerts, festivals and don’t forget The Taste (mentioned in number 9). It’s the best on an 80 degree. When you walk by you get that nice lake effect breeze and it… just… feels… so.. GOOD! And It’s huge. You can’t even see to the other side. The first time I took The Man there his eyes turned to saucers and he said, “That’s a Lake?”
12. Public Transportation. I love where I live now but the public transportation system sucks. In Chicago I didn’t even need to drive… and I didn’t. There are the buses (The CTA and the PACE), the L Train (which has multiples lines and there are two many to try and list them all) and the Metra. Some of them even run all night long. God I miss owl service.*sigh*
13. Last but not least I miss and love my family and friends. My parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and closest friends all still live there for the most part. They always make me wish I could live in two places at once. I love them all and miss them dearly. *kisses to all my family and friends*

Well it’s time to go to work but thanks for stopping by and sharing things I love about my hometown. See you later.

What Type of Car Are You?

Oh come on, let's have some fun! Take the quiz and let me know the results. *rubs hands together*

You Are a Convertible

You're playful and carefree. You are lighthearted in all aspects of your life. Life is short and you act accordingly. You don't worry, and you try to bring fun into other people's lives. You love feeling free, and you don't do well with rules or restrictions. You need to be able to do your own thing. You feel more alive than most people. You can really savor the little things in life, like feeling the wind in your hair.

What Type of Car Are You?

The Realistic Heroine

Today I want to discuss the realistic heroine? What makes her realistic? What kind of traits do we want to see in a realistic heroine?

I read A LOT of books (mostly romance) and I’ve read about all types. I think it’s true that you can’t put all women in a box and say, “They all act like this,” so neither can we do this with heroines. I like to believe that I can find something to like in all of the different types of heroines, but non interest me more than the Power House Woman and the Quiet Innocent.

I actually love them both but at times I don’t agree with the way they are portrayed. I think a woman can be strong without being overbearing and a woman can also be Quiet without being week. The trait that can make or break either one of them for me is stupidity. Now just hear me out before throwing rotten veggies.

The Power House Woman can be a force to reckon with. I also think she may be the most popular. She can be a kickass woman who won’t take crap and knows who she is. That doesn’t mean she has to be overbearing and stubborn to a fault. There is one instance that realty sticks out in my mind (I’m not going to name names). I remember that the heroine was in trouble and there was NOTHING she could do to help. She was paired with a strong alpha hero who was much stronger and had the abilities to deal with the situation (without her help) and the only thing she could do was slow him down and put them all in danger. So what happens? She forces her way in anyway, insists on going KNOWING that she can’t do anything to help (these were her thoughts) but because she didn’t want to be told what to do she makes a big issues out of going. What happens next, you ask? She faces horribleness that no one can save her from and is scarred for life and puts everyone in danger and does nothing to help. Hmmm… I think to myself as I try really hard not to throw the book against the wall, I can’t see how this was necessary. To me it just made her look stupid not powerful.

You’d be surprised at how many times I’ve read similar scenarios and every time I think, “What a moron.”

Now I have read stories where these women are done very well. They are secure in who they are and refuse to be left behind, not because they are being babies about being told what to do, but because they actually have something to contribute. They can actually do something productive to make the situation better. These are the types of heroines I want to read about.


Then we have the Quiet Innocent. She’s not very assertive, unless TOTALLY necessary and she is unsure of herself. This woman at times is looked down upon, but why? She’s realistic in a lot of ways. Not every woman is the power house type and most of us have our own hang-ups and personal issues we’re dealing with. She may not be able to kick everyone’s ass or tell everyone off but she has a quiet strength that she can summon up whenever she NEEDS it. She may not be a force to reckon with but if she is pushed to the limits she can do what needs to be done. So, what if she depends on the hero, at times don’t we all WANT a hero to depend on? Isn’t it nice to pass the reigns over to someone else for a while? Though women are strong we certainly don’t have to do everything on our own. The only time this heroine pushes my buttons is when she just can’t think for herself EVER. She’s so much of a mouse that she can’t even stand up for herself and she is completely clueless of the ways of the world. I don’t care how innocent a person seems to be, there are just something’s that every adult should know.

What I’ve noticed is that it’s the traits of the heroines that stand out to me. Some can be level headed and sure, some can be rigid and uptight, some can be demanding, some can be unsure. There are a variety of traits that can be used to make up a heroine, but I’ve noticed that some of them are frowned upon even if they do represent a percentage of women who truly exist.

I actually relate better to the hero when I write versus the heroine so I struggle with making likable heroines. The one that comes to mind now is the initial version of the woman created for my alter ego’s short Locked in Love. In the initial premise the story begins with an argument where the heroine thinks (with good reason) that the hero has cheated on her. She has had issues with past relationships and constantly takes them out on him. He deals with it because he loves her but at this time she is being truly unreasonable. She can not see or hear past her own pain to realize that he is telling her the truth about not being with other woman.

The heroine was hated so much that the premise had to be changed because there was no way the story could stay the same and remain true to the character. The thing that got me was the commentary received on the story. She wasn’t likeable, but she was not intended to be at the beginning and was supposed to redeem herself at the end (which apparently failed). A few people thought she was a bitch, and that she should down and look at things rationally and be more level headed.
Wow, just wow!
In real life if a woman (or man for that matter) was presented with this exact situation how many of them would be nice, instead of a bitch or an asshole? How many would be rational, calm and level headed? None that I know of, including me. If you thought you’d found concrete evidence that your significant other was cheating on you, someone that you loved and devoted time energy and effort to, would you be calm? Why should she have been?

To take it further I asked the men that I know if they’d ever been treated the way the heroine treated the hero. I didn’t get one no. Obviously that means that the behavior was realistic and plausible. So this lead me to the conclusion that, though we say we want realistic heroines that may not be completely accurate. Sure the idea sounds nice, but when confronted with something that may be a little too real, I get push back every time. I think we want someone we can aspire to be like, someone we can look up to but a flawed woman completed with issues and insecurities might be a little too much to handle? Tell me what you think. I’d love to know!


Stop by and see my alter ego for a discussion on the realistic hero.

Is Chivalry Dead?

I think not.

Where is this coming from, you ask? I work around a lot of women on a daily basis. I hear negative things being said about men all the time and I even hear negative jokes. Some jokes are funny (and may have some truth behind them) while others are merely tasteless. If a woman dogs out a woman he’s just supposed to man up and take it, but let a man say something about a woman. He’s wrong, he’s a jerk or he’s just no damn good. While men have been known to say some things that were just way out of line, so have women.


The way a lot of women talk about men, people wouldn’t think there was a good guy left in this world. Contrary to popular belief, however, I have been noticing nice men everywhere I go. Nine times out of ten if I am going through a doorway and there is a man in the vicinity I won’t even get a chance to touch the door let alone open it. Most of them even smile while they do it. I have guy friends who have never let me pay for a meal, pull out my own chair, walk on the portion of sidewalk closest to the street, or go through a doorway after them.

Yes, there are gentlemen out there and I want to take this moment to solute them. There are many of them out there and they sure as hell don’t get enough credit as far as I’m concerned. *smooches to all*

I'm Sleepy

I just got back in town and I am beat. I love going back home to visit my people, but they tire me out every time I go. We have to go to fifty different places and see one hundred different people. I'm not even sure if I got a wink of sleep while I was there. Well, thank God I'm back home now. Enough complaining. I'm going to bed ASAP and if anyone gets in my way there will be hell to pay!

Until next time.

I Hate Winter

Seriously, it's one of the reasons I moved further south. The harsh winds, the stupid, feet numbing snow and the loss of daylight makes me cranky. Once when I was smaller, and more optimistic I asked my mother if we could move to the equator. She told me no. I let her know she was being unreasonable before I was banished back to my room. I spent a lot of time there... wonder why.

I can't wait for summer. And for you winter people I hate to dress in layers. That whole you can add as many layers as you want but are limited to what you can take off argument means absolutely nothing to me. Under all those freaking layers I am still cold! *sigh* When will June be here?

Until next time.