I seemed to have forgotten all the things I hated about pregnancy so in my ignorance I decided to have another one. What the hell was I thinking?
13 things about pregnancy I can’t stand!
1. Morning (more like all day) sickness. I’ve never gotten the full blown sickness but the halfblown was more than enough.
2. The constant bathroom breaks. Seriously I have never peed so much in my life… ever.
3. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough sleep again. Between the little munchkin in there stealing all my energy and the constant nightly bathroom breaks (up to 4 a night thanks) I’m never going to feel well rested again.
4. If my skin gets any itchier I think I may scratch it off. All the stretching can’t be good for me and there isn’t enough cocoa butter in the world to relieve me of my sadness. *sigh*
5. New wardrobe. Yes this is the one time in life where having to get new clothes is not a plus.
6. My face is so fat it might float of my neck at any second.
7. Pregnancy brain is the devil. Oh yes it does exist. I can’t remember a damn thing… er what was I saying?
8. Trouble breathing. There is a living being in there pushing against my lungs and other organs. Thanks a lot!
9. Cravings. Seriously how many helpings of brownies and ice cream can one person eat… have I mentioned that I don’t like sweets?
10. The constant hunger makes me feel like a vampire. I always need to feed… only food not blood… right, moving on.
11. If one more thing on my body starts to ache I can’t be accountable for my actions.
12. When strange people touch me I want to do violent things. People I do know can touch. If I’ve never before seen you in life, stay the hell away!
13. 9 (Really 10) months is like forever. It’s almost a year! Why am I being punished?
Well that sums up my life in a nutshell. I have to say that even though I totally want this to be over… NOW there is nothing like holding a fresh, newborn baby in your arms. All of this is totally worth it. I’m sure I’ll agree with that statement even more once the pregnancy is over.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Thursday Thirteen
13 Things I Love and Miss about My Home Town
Some of you may not know this but I’m originally from Chicago, IL. It was like culture shock when I came to the south but eventually I learned to love it. There are still some things I miss and will always love about Chicago.
1. Hot Dogs. The Chicago style hot dog was one of the best inventions on the planet. It really is a meal on a bun topped with pickles, onions, tomatoes, Ketchup and mustard. Some people like to add or subtract but I like it just the way it is!
2. The Gyros Sandwich. I know they have this wonderful Greek treat in other places but in Chicago… wow. They are so big you have to eat it sideways and I have yet to finish one. The lamb meat is wonderful and succulent and they are best served with onions, tomatoes and lots of cucumber sauce. Yummy!
3. Pizza! Chicago is the only place I will eat a deep dish pizza. My favorite place is Gino’s East. OMG they make the pizza on a yellowish cornbread crust and the pizza is so saucy and flavorful. The pieces are so big I can only eat about two. *drool*
4. The Museum of Science and Industry is my favorite museum. They have exhibits that will interest people from 2 years old to 80. There are all kinds of buttons and walk through exhibits and information. It’s just wonderful.
5. Next is the Field Museum. The exhibits there are wonderful as well. You can learn about dinosaurs and see their bones reconstructed, soaring toward the ceiling or catch an adventure into an Egyptian tomb. Really how could you not love it?
6. The Shed Aquarium is to die for. There are all sorts of sea animals and snakes and lizards. They also have shows. It’s well worth the time and money and you’ll have to go more than once to see all there is to see and get the full experience.
7. Brookfield Zoo is excellent. I’m 26 and I still beg my mommy to take me when I go home during the warm months. They have so many activities and events depending on the time of year and it’s just lovely to walk through.
8. Barbeque. I know the south is supposed to be known for barbeque but they don’t do it the way we do. We do it in a pit. (ooh that sounded naughty) You can literally smell the food a block before you get to the place and you can order ribs, chicken, hot links and pretty much anything else. My favorite joint is Lem’s Barbeque House. The food is so good and the sauce is one of a kind.
9. The Taste of Chicago. I haven’t been in years but I want to go back so badly. You can get a taste of what everyone has to offer and meet a lot of people along the way. If you go on July third you’ll be treated to the best fireworks show I’ve ever seen. It’s good enough to stop traffic on Lake Shore Drive.
10. Harold’s Chicken. By far the best chicken joint I’ve ever been to. The chicken is tender and juicy and the sauce is to die for. You don’t go to Harold’s and not get sauce. I usually get a mix of hot and mild. *more drooling*
11. The Lake (That would be Lake Michigan). During the summer the lake is where it’s at. There are concerts, festivals and don’t forget The Taste (mentioned in number 9). It’s the best on an 80 degree. When you walk by you get that nice lake effect breeze and it… just… feels… so.. GOOD! And It’s huge. You can’t even see to the other side. The first time I took The Man there his eyes turned to saucers and he said, “That’s a Lake?”
12. Public Transportation. I love where I live now but the public transportation system sucks. In Chicago I didn’t even need to drive… and I didn’t. There are the buses (The CTA and the PACE), the L Train (which has multiples lines and there are two many to try and list them all) and the Metra. Some of them even run all night long. God I miss owl service.*sigh*
13. Last but not least I miss and love my family and friends. My parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and closest friends all still live there for the most part. They always make me wish I could live in two places at once. I love them all and miss them dearly. *kisses to all my family and friends*
Well it’s time to go to work but thanks for stopping by and sharing things I love about my hometown. See you later.
Some of you may not know this but I’m originally from Chicago, IL. It was like culture shock when I came to the south but eventually I learned to love it. There are still some things I miss and will always love about Chicago.
1. Hot Dogs. The Chicago style hot dog was one of the best inventions on the planet. It really is a meal on a bun topped with pickles, onions, tomatoes, Ketchup and mustard. Some people like to add or subtract but I like it just the way it is!
2. The Gyros Sandwich. I know they have this wonderful Greek treat in other places but in Chicago… wow. They are so big you have to eat it sideways and I have yet to finish one. The lamb meat is wonderful and succulent and they are best served with onions, tomatoes and lots of cucumber sauce. Yummy!
3. Pizza! Chicago is the only place I will eat a deep dish pizza. My favorite place is Gino’s East. OMG they make the pizza on a yellowish cornbread crust and the pizza is so saucy and flavorful. The pieces are so big I can only eat about two. *drool*
4. The Museum of Science and Industry is my favorite museum. They have exhibits that will interest people from 2 years old to 80. There are all kinds of buttons and walk through exhibits and information. It’s just wonderful.
5. Next is the Field Museum. The exhibits there are wonderful as well. You can learn about dinosaurs and see their bones reconstructed, soaring toward the ceiling or catch an adventure into an Egyptian tomb. Really how could you not love it?
6. The Shed Aquarium is to die for. There are all sorts of sea animals and snakes and lizards. They also have shows. It’s well worth the time and money and you’ll have to go more than once to see all there is to see and get the full experience.
7. Brookfield Zoo is excellent. I’m 26 and I still beg my mommy to take me when I go home during the warm months. They have so many activities and events depending on the time of year and it’s just lovely to walk through.
8. Barbeque. I know the south is supposed to be known for barbeque but they don’t do it the way we do. We do it in a pit. (ooh that sounded naughty) You can literally smell the food a block before you get to the place and you can order ribs, chicken, hot links and pretty much anything else. My favorite joint is Lem’s Barbeque House. The food is so good and the sauce is one of a kind.
9. The Taste of Chicago. I haven’t been in years but I want to go back so badly. You can get a taste of what everyone has to offer and meet a lot of people along the way. If you go on July third you’ll be treated to the best fireworks show I’ve ever seen. It’s good enough to stop traffic on Lake Shore Drive.
10. Harold’s Chicken. By far the best chicken joint I’ve ever been to. The chicken is tender and juicy and the sauce is to die for. You don’t go to Harold’s and not get sauce. I usually get a mix of hot and mild. *more drooling*
11. The Lake (That would be Lake Michigan). During the summer the lake is where it’s at. There are concerts, festivals and don’t forget The Taste (mentioned in number 9). It’s the best on an 80 degree. When you walk by you get that nice lake effect breeze and it… just… feels… so.. GOOD! And It’s huge. You can’t even see to the other side. The first time I took The Man there his eyes turned to saucers and he said, “That’s a Lake?”
12. Public Transportation. I love where I live now but the public transportation system sucks. In Chicago I didn’t even need to drive… and I didn’t. There are the buses (The CTA and the PACE), the L Train (which has multiples lines and there are two many to try and list them all) and the Metra. Some of them even run all night long. God I miss owl service.*sigh*
13. Last but not least I miss and love my family and friends. My parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and closest friends all still live there for the most part. They always make me wish I could live in two places at once. I love them all and miss them dearly. *kisses to all my family and friends*
Well it’s time to go to work but thanks for stopping by and sharing things I love about my hometown. See you later.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Thursday Thirteen
Bath room etiquette or 13 rules of public/non private work place bathrooms that should never be ignored.
1. If there are 8 other perfectly usable stalls available DON’T SIT NEXT TO ME! Seriously could you not have used one of the other stalls?
2. If you insist on sitting next to me and I happen to be out of toilet paper the least you could do is hand me some if I ask. Don’t hoard an entire roll in your stall. No one needs that much damn TP.
3. Along the lines of TP don’t leave it all over the floor when you’re done. Again no one needs that much and if it’s trailing the floor (And now attached to the bottom of my shoe) then you’ve gone overboard.
4. Don’t pee all over the seat (especially women). I mean seriously ladies have no excuse. If you don’t want to sit your bare ass on the public toilet then use the seat covers or make one out of TP. Don’t make the rest of us suffer
5. If I don’t know you please do not try to have a conversation with me over the walls of the stalls… seriously if we don’t know each other the only time we should speak is if discussing number 2 and it should still be brief.
6. Speaking of briefs, if for some reason you feel the need to remove your underwear please don’t leave them behind. We don’t want to see them… trust me.
7. Also, women, if it’s your “time” of the month PLEASE do NOT leave behind used feminine products were others will be unfortunate to see them. Really. Those little trashcans in the stalls are there for a reason.*HURL*
8. Let’s talk about the handicap stall. I know it’s got the little blue sign on the door or near the door but seriously, if you are close to having an “accident” please just use it ESPECIALLY if there are no handicap people around. Really I’m sure they’d rather wait a few minutes than slip and fall on your pee.
9. If you feel the need to take your cell phone into the stall with you I beg you not to have a 30 minute conversation while taking up said stall. Really someone could be out there with their bladder about to burst. You wouldn’t want to have that on your conscience now would you?
10. The bathroom is not a conference room. Please do not hold extensive meetings in there with your buddies. Most of us are trying to get in and out quickly and chances are your “meeting” is in the way of more urgent matters.
11. When you’re done handling your “business” please flush. And if it all doesn’t go down the first time flush AGAIN. There is no such thing as limited flushes as far as I know and everyone who comes in afterward would be eternally grateful.
12. After exiting the stall please wash your hands. No other explanation needed on that I should hope.
13. When washing hands please try not to make horrendous mess. I know it can be difficult but the least you can do if the water gets out of hand is clean it up. Really I don’t want to lean to close to the sink and come back looking like a wash rag.
Can you tell I had a not so nice day? Let’s hope for a better tomorrow, shall we? *Sigh*
1. If there are 8 other perfectly usable stalls available DON’T SIT NEXT TO ME! Seriously could you not have used one of the other stalls?
2. If you insist on sitting next to me and I happen to be out of toilet paper the least you could do is hand me some if I ask. Don’t hoard an entire roll in your stall. No one needs that much damn TP.
3. Along the lines of TP don’t leave it all over the floor when you’re done. Again no one needs that much and if it’s trailing the floor (And now attached to the bottom of my shoe) then you’ve gone overboard.
4. Don’t pee all over the seat (especially women). I mean seriously ladies have no excuse. If you don’t want to sit your bare ass on the public toilet then use the seat covers or make one out of TP. Don’t make the rest of us suffer
5. If I don’t know you please do not try to have a conversation with me over the walls of the stalls… seriously if we don’t know each other the only time we should speak is if discussing number 2 and it should still be brief.
6. Speaking of briefs, if for some reason you feel the need to remove your underwear please don’t leave them behind. We don’t want to see them… trust me.
7. Also, women, if it’s your “time” of the month PLEASE do NOT leave behind used feminine products were others will be unfortunate to see them. Really. Those little trashcans in the stalls are there for a reason.*HURL*
8. Let’s talk about the handicap stall. I know it’s got the little blue sign on the door or near the door but seriously, if you are close to having an “accident” please just use it ESPECIALLY if there are no handicap people around. Really I’m sure they’d rather wait a few minutes than slip and fall on your pee.
9. If you feel the need to take your cell phone into the stall with you I beg you not to have a 30 minute conversation while taking up said stall. Really someone could be out there with their bladder about to burst. You wouldn’t want to have that on your conscience now would you?
10. The bathroom is not a conference room. Please do not hold extensive meetings in there with your buddies. Most of us are trying to get in and out quickly and chances are your “meeting” is in the way of more urgent matters.
11. When you’re done handling your “business” please flush. And if it all doesn’t go down the first time flush AGAIN. There is no such thing as limited flushes as far as I know and everyone who comes in afterward would be eternally grateful.
12. After exiting the stall please wash your hands. No other explanation needed on that I should hope.
13. When washing hands please try not to make horrendous mess. I know it can be difficult but the least you can do if the water gets out of hand is clean it up. Really I don’t want to lean to close to the sink and come back looking like a wash rag.
Can you tell I had a not so nice day? Let’s hope for a better tomorrow, shall we? *Sigh*
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
What Type of Car Are You?
Oh come on, let's have some fun! Take the quiz and let me know the results. *rubs hands together*
You Are a Convertible |
 You're playful and carefree. You are lighthearted in all aspects of your life. Life is short and you act accordingly. You don't worry, and you try to bring fun into other people's lives. You love feeling free, and you don't do well with rules or restrictions. You need to be able to do your own thing. You feel more alive than most people. You can really savor the little things in life, like feeling the wind in your hair. |
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Thursday Thirteen
Thirteen Things I Love About Spring.
1. The smell of freshly cut grass. It almost smells sweet.
2. The warmer weather. I'm a winter baby that hates the winter. The hotter the better.
3. Thundershowers. I know it rains during the winter but it rains more in the spring. The sound and the smell relax me and make me sleep like a baby.
4. Saving electricity. I love leaving the doors and windows open to let the breeze flow through. The fresh air just does something for me.
5. Kids. I'm from a generation where the kids liked to spend more time outdoors than inside (even though we still loved to play our video games). Seeing the kids playing outside, when it's finally warm enough just touches my heart.
6. Long walks. Once the weather finally turns, I love to spend time outdoors walking and enjoying the time with someone special.
7. Sitting on the patio (doesn't have to be your patio). What's better than sitting outside and enjoying the breeze? Sitting outside and enjoying the breeze.
8. Then there are barbeques. The smell of food cooking on a grill as you sit on the patio mentioned above is one of the best things ever. I know barbeques are sometimes thought of as a summer thing but around here we barbeque on the first day the temperature hits 70.
9. While enjoying the barbeque I like to watch the leaves come back. There cute light green color makes me feel good and happy inside.
10. The longer days are wonderful. I hate daylight savings time, really who wants to lose an hour, but having longer amounts of time with sunlight is so worth it.
11. I like the new wardrobe colors for the spring. Though the deeper reds and browns from fall and winter are lovely the blues and pinks of spring are my favorite.
12. Speaking of changes in wardrobe I like the new fashions of spring. The shorts, tanks and miniskirts are right up my alley.
13. Finally there are the opened toed shoes. I love to have my feet out and feel the air against my flesh.
It's supposed to be warm out today. I think I may go out and enjoy some of this spring weather!
1. The smell of freshly cut grass. It almost smells sweet.
2. The warmer weather. I'm a winter baby that hates the winter. The hotter the better.
3. Thundershowers. I know it rains during the winter but it rains more in the spring. The sound and the smell relax me and make me sleep like a baby.
4. Saving electricity. I love leaving the doors and windows open to let the breeze flow through. The fresh air just does something for me.
5. Kids. I'm from a generation where the kids liked to spend more time outdoors than inside (even though we still loved to play our video games). Seeing the kids playing outside, when it's finally warm enough just touches my heart.
6. Long walks. Once the weather finally turns, I love to spend time outdoors walking and enjoying the time with someone special.
7. Sitting on the patio (doesn't have to be your patio). What's better than sitting outside and enjoying the breeze? Sitting outside and enjoying the breeze.
8. Then there are barbeques. The smell of food cooking on a grill as you sit on the patio mentioned above is one of the best things ever. I know barbeques are sometimes thought of as a summer thing but around here we barbeque on the first day the temperature hits 70.
9. While enjoying the barbeque I like to watch the leaves come back. There cute light green color makes me feel good and happy inside.
10. The longer days are wonderful. I hate daylight savings time, really who wants to lose an hour, but having longer amounts of time with sunlight is so worth it.
11. I like the new wardrobe colors for the spring. Though the deeper reds and browns from fall and winter are lovely the blues and pinks of spring are my favorite.
12. Speaking of changes in wardrobe I like the new fashions of spring. The shorts, tanks and miniskirts are right up my alley.
13. Finally there are the opened toed shoes. I love to have my feet out and feel the air against my flesh.
It's supposed to be warm out today. I think I may go out and enjoy some of this spring weather!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Thursday Thirteen
13 Woes of a Mom with a Two Year Old Son
1. Bad listening skills. I KNOW he understands me, I can tell by that little sneaky look on his face that says, “I know what you’re saying, but so what I’m going to do it anyway.”
2. The two letter word that should really be a four letter word! Sometimes The Boy is bold of enough to tell me NO… of course after I give him “The Look” he runs off and does whatever it is I’ve asked, which proves the validity of number 1.
3. Kisses! To balance out the horrors above sometimes he’ll give me kisses. They are sweet and a little moist and just melt my little heart.
4. Then he has to go and wipe off said kisses. I don’t know why we just can’t stay on a high note.
5. The running. It seems like just yesterday he was taking his first wobbly steps and now we’ve just skipped to running. There appears to be no such thing as walking.
6. Splashing in the bath tub. OK this one is actually kind of fun… as long as I’m wearing a shower cap.
7. Of course number 6 and pretty much everything else he does leaves behind a huge mess. It’s safe to say that my house will never be clean again.
8. Sleep time is my favorite time of day. He really looks so calm and peaceful and sweet… and quiet.
9. At one year old he wasn’t picky, he ate whatever we gave him, now he’s developing a list of “don’t likes” and I don’t like it. If I hand him a raison he should just eat it! I can’t be alone in feeling like this?
10. I mentioned kisses but forgot hugs. These are almost better then kisses because they are so warm and sweet… and he can’t wipe them off.
11. I totally love the conversations we have. Here’s this morning’s. Him: “How [are] you doin’?” Me: “Fine, how are you doing?” Him: “Fine,” cute little giggles. “How [are] you doin’?” Really this can go on for at least thirty minutes. For some strange reason the both of us find it amusing. Oh, God I must be regressing!
12. Hitting. The Man boxes so The Boy feels he must box… with boxing gloves that come up to his elbows. He does the bounce and “foot work” (his version of it anyway) and even falls down and waits for the count before he tries to get back up. I told them to stop playing that video game around the kid. *sigh*
13. Out of everything we do the best is I love you time! I don’t pick it he seems to feel the urge and there it is. We can do that for a good thirty minutes too but I can’t say that I mind.
OK now I think I need to hug him and go get my kisses wiped off.
1. Bad listening skills. I KNOW he understands me, I can tell by that little sneaky look on his face that says, “I know what you’re saying, but so what I’m going to do it anyway.”
2. The two letter word that should really be a four letter word! Sometimes The Boy is bold of enough to tell me NO… of course after I give him “The Look” he runs off and does whatever it is I’ve asked, which proves the validity of number 1.
3. Kisses! To balance out the horrors above sometimes he’ll give me kisses. They are sweet and a little moist and just melt my little heart.
4. Then he has to go and wipe off said kisses. I don’t know why we just can’t stay on a high note.
5. The running. It seems like just yesterday he was taking his first wobbly steps and now we’ve just skipped to running. There appears to be no such thing as walking.
6. Splashing in the bath tub. OK this one is actually kind of fun… as long as I’m wearing a shower cap.
7. Of course number 6 and pretty much everything else he does leaves behind a huge mess. It’s safe to say that my house will never be clean again.
8. Sleep time is my favorite time of day. He really looks so calm and peaceful and sweet… and quiet.
9. At one year old he wasn’t picky, he ate whatever we gave him, now he’s developing a list of “don’t likes” and I don’t like it. If I hand him a raison he should just eat it! I can’t be alone in feeling like this?
10. I mentioned kisses but forgot hugs. These are almost better then kisses because they are so warm and sweet… and he can’t wipe them off.
11. I totally love the conversations we have. Here’s this morning’s. Him: “How [are] you doin’?” Me: “Fine, how are you doing?” Him: “Fine,” cute little giggles. “How [are] you doin’?” Really this can go on for at least thirty minutes. For some strange reason the both of us find it amusing. Oh, God I must be regressing!
12. Hitting. The Man boxes so The Boy feels he must box… with boxing gloves that come up to his elbows. He does the bounce and “foot work” (his version of it anyway) and even falls down and waits for the count before he tries to get back up. I told them to stop playing that video game around the kid. *sigh*
13. Out of everything we do the best is I love you time! I don’t pick it he seems to feel the urge and there it is. We can do that for a good thirty minutes too but I can’t say that I mind.
OK now I think I need to hug him and go get my kisses wiped off.
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Realistic Heroine
Today I want to discuss the realistic heroine? What makes her realistic? What kind of traits do we want to see in a realistic heroine?
I read A LOT of books (mostly romance) and I’ve read about all types. I think it’s true that you can’t put all women in a box and say, “They all act like this,” so neither can we do this with heroines. I like to believe that I can find something to like in all of the different types of heroines, but non interest me more than the Power House Woman and the Quiet Innocent.
I actually love them both but at times I don’t agree with the way they are portrayed. I think a woman can be strong without being overbearing and a woman can also be Quiet without being week. The trait that can make or break either one of them for me is stupidity. Now just hear me out before throwing rotten veggies.
The Power House Woman can be a force to reckon with. I also think she may be the most popular. She can be a kickass woman who won’t take crap and knows who she is. That doesn’t mean she has to be overbearing and stubborn to a fault. There is one instance that realty sticks out in my mind (I’m not going to name names). I remember that the heroine was in trouble and there was NOTHING she could do to help. She was paired with a strong alpha hero who was much stronger and had the abilities to deal with the situation (without her help) and the only thing she could do was slow him down and put them all in danger. So what happens? She forces her way in anyway, insists on going KNOWING that she can’t do anything to help (these were her thoughts) but because she didn’t want to be told what to do she makes a big issues out of going. What happens next, you ask? She faces horribleness that no one can save her from and is scarred for life and puts everyone in danger and does nothing to help. Hmmm… I think to myself as I try really hard not to throw the book against the wall, I can’t see how this was necessary. To me it just made her look stupid not powerful.
You’d be surprised at how many times I’ve read similar scenarios and every time I think, “What a moron.”
Now I have read stories where these women are done very well. They are secure in who they are and refuse to be left behind, not because they are being babies about being told what to do, but because they actually have something to contribute. They can actually do something productive to make the situation better. These are the types of heroines I want to read about.
Then we have the Quiet Innocent. She’s not very assertive, unless TOTALLY necessary and she is unsure of herself. This woman at times is looked down upon, but why? She’s realistic in a lot of ways. Not every woman is the power house type and most of us have our own hang-ups and personal issues we’re dealing with. She may not be able to kick everyone’s ass or tell everyone off but she has a quiet strength that she can summon up whenever she NEEDS it. She may not be a force to reckon with but if she is pushed to the limits she can do what needs to be done. So, what if she depends on the hero, at times don’t we all WANT a hero to depend on? Isn’t it nice to pass the reigns over to someone else for a while? Though women are strong we certainly don’t have to do everything on our own. The only time this heroine pushes my buttons is when she just can’t think for herself EVER. She’s so much of a mouse that she can’t even stand up for herself and she is completely clueless of the ways of the world. I don’t care how innocent a person seems to be, there are just something’s that every adult should know.
What I’ve noticed is that it’s the traits of the heroines that stand out to me. Some can be level headed and sure, some can be rigid and uptight, some can be demanding, some can be unsure. There are a variety of traits that can be used to make up a heroine, but I’ve noticed that some of them are frowned upon even if they do represent a percentage of women who truly exist.
I actually relate better to the hero when I write versus the heroine so I struggle with making likable heroines. The one that comes to mind now is the initial version of the woman created for my alter ego’s short Locked in Love. In the initial premise the story begins with an argument where the heroine thinks (with good reason) that the hero has cheated on her. She has had issues with past relationships and constantly takes them out on him. He deals with it because he loves her but at this time she is being truly unreasonable. She can not see or hear past her own pain to realize that he is telling her the truth about not being with other woman.
The heroine was hated so much that the premise had to be changed because there was no way the story could stay the same and remain true to the character. The thing that got me was the commentary received on the story. She wasn’t likeable, but she was not intended to be at the beginning and was supposed to redeem herself at the end (which apparently failed). A few people thought she was a bitch, and that she should down and look at things rationally and be more level headed.
Wow, just wow!
In real life if a woman (or man for that matter) was presented with this exact situation how many of them would be nice, instead of a bitch or an asshole? How many would be rational, calm and level headed? None that I know of, including me. If you thought you’d found concrete evidence that your significant other was cheating on you, someone that you loved and devoted time energy and effort to, would you be calm? Why should she have been?
To take it further I asked the men that I know if they’d ever been treated the way the heroine treated the hero. I didn’t get one no. Obviously that means that the behavior was realistic and plausible. So this lead me to the conclusion that, though we say we want realistic heroines that may not be completely accurate. Sure the idea sounds nice, but when confronted with something that may be a little too real, I get push back every time. I think we want someone we can aspire to be like, someone we can look up to but a flawed woman completed with issues and insecurities might be a little too much to handle? Tell me what you think. I’d love to know!
Stop by and see my alter ego for a discussion on the realistic hero.
I read A LOT of books (mostly romance) and I’ve read about all types. I think it’s true that you can’t put all women in a box and say, “They all act like this,” so neither can we do this with heroines. I like to believe that I can find something to like in all of the different types of heroines, but non interest me more than the Power House Woman and the Quiet Innocent.
I actually love them both but at times I don’t agree with the way they are portrayed. I think a woman can be strong without being overbearing and a woman can also be Quiet without being week. The trait that can make or break either one of them for me is stupidity. Now just hear me out before throwing rotten veggies.
The Power House Woman can be a force to reckon with. I also think she may be the most popular. She can be a kickass woman who won’t take crap and knows who she is. That doesn’t mean she has to be overbearing and stubborn to a fault. There is one instance that realty sticks out in my mind (I’m not going to name names). I remember that the heroine was in trouble and there was NOTHING she could do to help. She was paired with a strong alpha hero who was much stronger and had the abilities to deal with the situation (without her help) and the only thing she could do was slow him down and put them all in danger. So what happens? She forces her way in anyway, insists on going KNOWING that she can’t do anything to help (these were her thoughts) but because she didn’t want to be told what to do she makes a big issues out of going. What happens next, you ask? She faces horribleness that no one can save her from and is scarred for life and puts everyone in danger and does nothing to help. Hmmm… I think to myself as I try really hard not to throw the book against the wall, I can’t see how this was necessary. To me it just made her look stupid not powerful.
You’d be surprised at how many times I’ve read similar scenarios and every time I think, “What a moron.”
Now I have read stories where these women are done very well. They are secure in who they are and refuse to be left behind, not because they are being babies about being told what to do, but because they actually have something to contribute. They can actually do something productive to make the situation better. These are the types of heroines I want to read about.
Then we have the Quiet Innocent. She’s not very assertive, unless TOTALLY necessary and she is unsure of herself. This woman at times is looked down upon, but why? She’s realistic in a lot of ways. Not every woman is the power house type and most of us have our own hang-ups and personal issues we’re dealing with. She may not be able to kick everyone’s ass or tell everyone off but she has a quiet strength that she can summon up whenever she NEEDS it. She may not be a force to reckon with but if she is pushed to the limits she can do what needs to be done. So, what if she depends on the hero, at times don’t we all WANT a hero to depend on? Isn’t it nice to pass the reigns over to someone else for a while? Though women are strong we certainly don’t have to do everything on our own. The only time this heroine pushes my buttons is when she just can’t think for herself EVER. She’s so much of a mouse that she can’t even stand up for herself and she is completely clueless of the ways of the world. I don’t care how innocent a person seems to be, there are just something’s that every adult should know.
What I’ve noticed is that it’s the traits of the heroines that stand out to me. Some can be level headed and sure, some can be rigid and uptight, some can be demanding, some can be unsure. There are a variety of traits that can be used to make up a heroine, but I’ve noticed that some of them are frowned upon even if they do represent a percentage of women who truly exist.
I actually relate better to the hero when I write versus the heroine so I struggle with making likable heroines. The one that comes to mind now is the initial version of the woman created for my alter ego’s short Locked in Love. In the initial premise the story begins with an argument where the heroine thinks (with good reason) that the hero has cheated on her. She has had issues with past relationships and constantly takes them out on him. He deals with it because he loves her but at this time she is being truly unreasonable. She can not see or hear past her own pain to realize that he is telling her the truth about not being with other woman.
The heroine was hated so much that the premise had to be changed because there was no way the story could stay the same and remain true to the character. The thing that got me was the commentary received on the story. She wasn’t likeable, but she was not intended to be at the beginning and was supposed to redeem herself at the end (which apparently failed). A few people thought she was a bitch, and that she should down and look at things rationally and be more level headed.
Wow, just wow!
In real life if a woman (or man for that matter) was presented with this exact situation how many of them would be nice, instead of a bitch or an asshole? How many would be rational, calm and level headed? None that I know of, including me. If you thought you’d found concrete evidence that your significant other was cheating on you, someone that you loved and devoted time energy and effort to, would you be calm? Why should she have been?
To take it further I asked the men that I know if they’d ever been treated the way the heroine treated the hero. I didn’t get one no. Obviously that means that the behavior was realistic and plausible. So this lead me to the conclusion that, though we say we want realistic heroines that may not be completely accurate. Sure the idea sounds nice, but when confronted with something that may be a little too real, I get push back every time. I think we want someone we can aspire to be like, someone we can look up to but a flawed woman completed with issues and insecurities might be a little too much to handle? Tell me what you think. I’d love to know!
Stop by and see my alter ego for a discussion on the realistic hero.
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